Give me back my Game!

It's fair to say that I kept reasonably quiet on here since the World Cup kicked off on June 11. The two happenings are entirely related, there's no need to look too deeply into the matter. Needless to say that between work, watching football and playing soccer, I was too busy to write. Which is a shame, because there are various things which I said would happen that did. And I wish I'd let the Interweb world know because then I'd have a written record of it which nobody could dispute. But oh well.

Anyways, the point of this whole posting is that following a long month of watching the Beautiful Game, I began to wonder if it actually is beautiful anymore. The World Cup didn't so much highlight the great aspects of the sport, as it did emphasise the annoying ones. So, Mister Blatter and Monsieur Platini, here's my list of Shit That Needs Sorted Before 2014:

1. Goalline Technology

I genuinely do not care what you decide to do with this, just make a decision and stick to it. After the infamous Hand of Henry, you stood firm in your belief that goalline technology has no place in the game. After the Line of Lampard, the issue is being revisited and "things will have changed for next time". Why? The cynic in me says it's because The FA is richer than the FAI, but surely that wouldn't influence an organisation such as yourselves, would it?

Regardless, if you want to keep the human element in the officiating here's a thought: Camera at the goal-line with a direct feed to the 4th Official's area. No video replay, no nothing. Just a live feed. If the 4th Official sees it cross the line, he's already miked to the ref and makes the call. If he misses it, tough shit - 99% of goals are seen by referees anyways. And I've seen far worse goal line calls than Lampard's.

2. Diving

I'm done watching it. Worse than all the Vuvuzelas in the world being blown by robots through megaphones is the sight of a fully grown man rolling around crying in apparent agony when he knows he hasn't been touched. It's emaciating the game. Simply put in a system where any player who falls to the ground during a game is fined 5% of his weekly wage. At a tribunal afterwards, the referee and linesmen look back at the footage and can uphold or refund any fines given. Players can appeal, if they feel hard done by, but will be judged by video evidence and / or medical opinion.

3. Getting Other Players Booked

One of the main features of the 2010 tournament was that everytime a "hefty" challenge (lads, I've seen heftier challenges in the January Sales in the Eaton Centre) went in, the referee was surrounded by teammates of the "injured" party making the same gesture. You know the one, right hand in the air, holding an imaginary card. If I had my say, anyone doing this is automatically shown a card.

Actually, how is it that in a sport as physically taxing as rugby, the players can instantly show restraint at a decision and back off, whereas in soccer, every whistle is greeted with a throng of players rushing to the referee? Sort it out.

It may not solve all of football's problems, but it'd be a start. And it'd make the game much more defensible for those of us trying to preach it's virtues in countries where it is not even on the national sporting radar. We're fighting against the tough-men games of ice hockey and american football. How can we fight against that when we're watching a $75,000 per week player faking an injury? Football has always been a man's game. Growing up, you took your lumps and you gave as good as you got. You fought fair, and accepted that a certain honour existed on the field. If WC2010 taught us anything, it's that there is no place in the game for tough men. Not at the highest level.

So please, FIFA, take a stand. Protect this people's game which YOU have been charged with looking after. Send a message to the cheats and the charlatans who are ruining it. Do something, anything! Just give us back OUR game.