Taking Stock

Again I find myself beginning this blog with a familiar apology. I'm sorry I haven't been more active here. I know you're all starving for a 5 minute read, be it sub-par, ill-conceived or just downright tripe. Regardless, this time I actually have a valid reason for my tardiness. This past week I had the pleasure of showing my mother and sister around Toronto, and giving them a decent insight into my new life here. While my sister has visited North America before, it was my mother's first time outside Europe, and I was keen to impress that the colonies have much to offer.

Sadly, the weather wasn't entirely in our favour for the week, but while I lagged behind them, visibly withering under the demands of the Eaton Centre, they seemed to enjoy the marathon of shopping. We did get a couple of days of sun, just so some of the photos can look tropical. Their pictures from a day-trip to Niagara in particular are pretty spectacular. We didn't get to see everything I would have liked, but such is the reality of a one week visit. Regardless, I enjoyed showing them around the city, pointing out the places of interest, and offering up what few tidbits of local knowledge I possessed.

And in doing so, I reached an epiphany of sorts. I'm settling in well here. I have a good life that I'm enjoying. Health-wise, I haven't been this fit since I was in my early teens. I have a steady relationship with someone who lights up my life on a daily basis. I have a social life that's based on the city and the people who grew up here, not on an immigrant Irish community that could be recreated back home. I'm playing organised sports again, and I'm writing recreationally, which is something I abandoned over a decade ago. I don't have a career just yet, but I can see the path to one in front of me. For the first time since I was 18, I feel like there are possibilities for me in the world. Yes, there are variables to be resolved in the coming months, but who doesn't have those?

For a guy who had a minor mid-life crisis (it came a little late, I have no intention of living to twice my current age) at the start of the year, this was refreshing. 2010 was supposed to mark many anniversaries, not necessarily good ones - 21 years since we moved into the house I associate with childhood, my youngest sister becoming eligible to vote, drink and be tried as an adult, 15 years since my first and only major sports championship, and 10 years since I left high school. And I was quite down on what I had achieved, or rather had not achieved in the intervening period. But this past week has put me in a new light.

Right now things are good and I'm thankful for that.

The Flip Side

The major downside of living here is, of course, not seeing my family. There isn't a day goes by where I don't think of them, or of an activity we used to share. That's partly why I didn't mind the shopping too much. I got to spend time with them, and after 20 months of not being able to do that, even shopping was a welcome group activity.

Of course, the worst part was the goodbye at the airport. We've all been there to some degree. Having been in a long distance relationship exposed me to it before, but that doesn't make it any easier. And to top it off, I'm terrible at awkward social situations. To be honest, I'm terrible at most social occasions. Excessively self-conscious, and never knowing what to say or do. I feel like my arms are too long and I start to mumble.

Naturally, saying goodbye to family isn't easy. Especially when you only see them for 1 week out of every year and a half. There are usually tears involved, followed by the realisation that there are people nearby who we don't know, which leads to some attempt trying to save face . . . it gets confusing. But having gone through that year and a half, I've come to the conclusion that having people to say goodbye to at airports is a small price to pay.

So, Mam and Elaine (I know ye read this) and anyone else, hurry back soon so we can do it all again!

. . .

What? I told you I was bad in these situations!